


An Angel, a Witch, and a Vampire Walk Into A Bar . . .

by GythaOgg



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Charlie Ships It, Destiel - Freeform, Drinking Games, Gabriel has a colorful past, M/M, Never Have I Ever, Sam Ships It, brief mention of Emmanuel/Daphne, but they don't play it in this story, everyone gets along, everyone ships it, maybe next time, reference to Cards Against Humanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 09:36:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16060397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GythaOgg/pseuds/GythaOgg
Summary: Despite everything they’ve all been through, despite the betrayals and the complicated relationships, the nine of them share a lot of history. They understand things that few other people can truly comprehend; things that make it hard to relate to “normal” people, even in the context of their very unusual lifestyles. So, once in a while, they all put aside their issues, get together, and catch up. Because really, underneath it all, they honestly do like each other. (Yes, even Crowley.)





	An Angel, a Witch, and a Vampire Walk Into A Bar . . .

Despite everything they’ve all been through, despite the betrayals and the complicated relationships, the nine of them share a lot of history. They understand things that few other people can truly comprehend; things that make it hard to relate to “normal” people, even in the context of their very unusual lifestyles. So, once in a while, they all put aside their issues, get together, and catch up. Because really, underneath it all, they honestly do like each other. (Yes, even Crowley.)

Once or twice a year, they gather in the back room of a bar, or some suite in a fancy hotel, and play nice. They drink, they eat, they reminisce, they tell tall tales, and they play games. Sometimes video games, sometimes casino games, sometimes card games ( _honestly, there’s never been a better group for Cards Against Humanity_ ), but there’s almost always some form of drinking game. Sometimes they gather to celebrate an auspicious occasion, like Rowena getting her powers back. Sometimes, it’s to mourn a fallen comrade, like Balthazar. Sometimes, it’s to honor a particular date.

Like tonight, for instance. This is the anniversary of the day that Amara and Chuck mended their fences, and the Darkness receded from the world, ending the single greatest threat their universe had ever known. Since they had been thisclose to having their entire universe wiped off the map, and magic along with it, it was the kind of thing they all liked to celebrate. And hell, it was as good an excuse as any for a get together.

So here they are, scattered around three tables shoved roughly together, in the back room of some bar that Gabriel owns, in upstate New York. Dean, Castiel, Sam, Charlie, Gabriel, Rowena, Benny, Bella, and Crowley. Everyone is drinking, though Crowley, Cas and Gabe are consuming three times what anyone else is, and Benny’s beer is mostly A negative. They’ve been telling stories and playing cards for a few hours now, and they’re all having a remarkably good time.

“You know what we’ve never played at one of these little shindigs?” Rowena purrs, raising her glass to get everyone’s attention. “Never. Have I. Ever.” She smirks at the reactions: groans from Dean and Sam, chuckles from Bella and Gabe, a squeal from Charlie, rolled eyes from Crowley, and one very confused expression from Cas. “Ohh, come now, boys. It’ll be fun!” she crows. Charlie looks excited, if a little skeptical. Of everyone here, she probably has the best chance of staying remotely sober in this game. “Awww Row, you just wanna play because you have all the best stories.” At that, Gabe’s eyebrows shoot up, and he slaps the table, saying, “Hey now! THAT sounds like a challenge!” Everyone laughs at that, refilling glasses and getting a little more comfortable in their seats.

“Alright, ladies and gents, let’s get this shitshow started!” Crowley calls out. “We’ll start small, shall we? Never Have I Ever died.” He promptly raises his glass in a toast, and downs half his scotch. Dean and Sam bark a laugh, clinking glasses and drinking as well. Charlie, Bella, Benny, and Rowena follow suit. Gabriel turns to Castiel to toast him, but is met with a furrowed brow and a very pronounced head-tilt. “Awww, what’s wrong, little bro?” he jokes. Cas frowns at him, “I don’t know this Never Have I Ever game. Why did everyone drink?” Gabe gives Castiel a sympathetic look, and Dean reaches out to rub his shoulder. They all chime in to explain the game to Cas, joking and providing outrageous examples. When they’re done, Cas nods solemnly, then raises his glass of rum. “I have died.” he says, drinking deeply. There’s a chorus of “Hear, hear!” amidst the clinking of glasses and ice cubes.

“OK, I’ll go”, rumbles Dean. “Never have I ever lived overseas.” Everyone drinks except for him and Sam. Charlie puts her beer down and gives the brothers a pouty face. “Is it because of the flying thing, Deano?” Dean scoffs, blushing a little, as Benny reaches out and smacks him on the arm. “What flyin’ thing, brotha?” Dean rolls his eyes and shakes his head, answering, “I just don’t like planes, man. No big deal.” When he turns back, Rowena is catches his eye. “You know, dear, I’m sure I could help you with that wee phobia, if you like” she says, tapping her chin with one long, burgundy fingernail. “Nope, not a chance, Red. Thanks anyway.” Dean replies smoothly, saluting the witch with a free hand.

“OK, OK, my turn” says Bella. “Never have I ever had a threesome.” She raises her drink high and winks at Dean, sipping delicately. Gabe leans over to whisper in Castiel’s ear, then drinks, along with everyone but Cas, amidst many wolf-whistles and coos. Cas looks back and forth between his companions, “Really? All of you?!” he mutters. “Fine. Never have I ever had sex in front of other people?”. He crosses his arms across his chest and stares everyone down. For once, most of the room does not drink. Gabe and Crowley do, predictably. But so do Dean, and even Sam, which genuinely surprises both the angels. Sam scowls at Cas’s raised eyebrow, and mutter something about not having a soul for a year, which shuts Cas up pretty quickly.

Gabriel claps his hands together loudly, rubbing them together in anticipation as he announces, “Well, since we seem to be wandering down that path . . . Never have I ever been to Hell!” He looks around, expectantly. Dean, Cas, Sam, Bella, Rowena, and Crowley all drink, some more enthusiastically than others. Benny looks around, bemused. “Uhhh, maybe I’m missin’ somethin’ here. WHY would an angel go to hell, Castiel?” At that, Sam, Gabe, Crowley, Charlie, and Rowena all turn in their chairs, pointing at Dean. Cas glances from face to face, landing on Dean for a few moments, before returning to Benny. “I rescued Dean from Hell the first time he died. That’s how we met.” Suddenly, Charlie, Sam, Gabe, and Crowley all sing-song in unison, “ _He gripped him tight and raised him from perdition_!”, clinking glasses and cackling with laughter at their private joke. Benny stares at Cas for a moment longer, pondering, then finally says, “Huh. An angel who’s been to Hell and Purgatory. Well then, I reckon Never Have I Ever Been to Heaven must be next”. Again, Dean, Sam and Cas raise their glasses, along with the only other angel in the room, Gabriel.

Bella stands up to refill her glass, looking bored. “Right . . . Never have I ever . . . been rich!” she pronounces smugly, swallowing her sip of Glen Livet. Crowley and Rowena toast her, and Gabriel shrugs, looking a little sheepish as he gulps his rum punch. “Okey dokey then, Never Have I Ever been so poor I went hungry” he says, draining the glass. One by one, everyone in the room drinks, looking a bit maudlin at the topic.

“Jeepers creepers, that got freakin’ dark fast. How about, Never Have I Ever given a blow job?” Charlie pipes up, narrowing her eyes at everyone in turn. Crowley and Benny both shrug and take a drink. Gabe snaps his fingers, a new, colorful drink appearing in his hand, which he promptly sips. Looking up at all the gaping mouths, he grins. “What? It was the 60s, man, a time for experimenting.  . . . And the roaring 20s, kinda. Oh! And the 1600s, THAT was fun. Hey! Judge not!” Sam reaches over and clinks his beer against Gabe’s glass, and drinks. Charlie’s eyes are about to pop out of her head, and Rowena looks like she might spring out of her chair and pounce on the hunter. “Don’t look at me like that! I went to college, you know. And, that year I was soulless, too, I mean . . . “, he says, trailing off. “My my, Samuel. That seems to have been quite the year. I’m quite sorry I missed that.” Rowena says smoothly, sipping at her wine.

Bella snorts a laught into her tumbler, grinning up at Dean and Castiel. “So, just you two, huh? Well, isn’t that ironic?” They both look at her quizzically, but Bella just mimes zipping her lips and throwing away the key.

“Never Have I Ever . . . been married” Dean bursts out, nudging Sam and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Groaning and hunching his shoulders, Sam sips his beer, trying not to make eye contact with anyone. Bella, Rowena, Crowley, Benny, Cas, and Gabe drink along with him, before Crowley speaks up. “A married moose? Tell me, Sam, is that how you lost your soul in the first place?” Sam rolls his eyes. Both his time in the cage and his brief marriage to Becky had left their own scars on Sam, but enough time has passed by now, that he can laugh about them (albeit bitterly). “No, but it would have made it less painful. Fortunately, the whole thing only lasted a few days, and it was annulled right away. Remember, Crowley? That crossroads demon, Guy, and his intern? That girl Becky, the one Guy was trying to sign, that was the girl. The wife.” Crowley’s jaw drops open, eyes widening. “Becky?! THAT obnoxious little toothpick was your WIFE?! For fuck sake, Sam.” Crowley shudders, clearly horrified. Sam’s forehead wrinkles and he looks just a tad bit insulted. “It’s not like it was voluntary, Crowley. She roofied me.” There’s a brief chorus of “ooh”s and “ahh”s from around the tables, and Sam scowls at no one in particular.

The game goes on. Turns out, they’ve all killed someone, though Crowley and Rowena are both a little more enthusiastic about that particular admission. Only Cas, Gabe, Sam, and Crowley have ever had wings. Everyone except Dean, Sam, and Cas has owned a home. Crowley is the only one who isn’t an orphan. (Rowena takes a bow and says, “you’re welcome, Fergus”.) That one actually causes a bit of a debate amongst the crowd. After all, Cas and Gabe still technically have a parent, since they all agree that Chuck is almost certainly still “alive”. But, since He has effectively abandoned them without a trace (twice, as Gabriel points out), then it should still count as orphaning.

Benny offers up “Never Have I Ever had a child”, and Crowley, Rowena, Dean, and Gabe are the only ones who drink. Benny and Charlie stare Dean down, but he just waves them off, mumbling “Long story. Amazon baby. Past tense.” As Dean opens his mouth to make the next NHIE statement, he’s interrupted by Cas’s shocked whisper. “Gabriel! It’s forbidden! How could you have fathered a nephalim? You?” Gabe squints and points one finger at his little brother. “Slow your roll there, lil’ seraph. Nephalim are angel/human progeny, and that is forbidden. I never knocked up any human ladies.” Sam tils his head, in a very Cas-like gesture, and asks the question on everyone’s minds. “Uhhh, if they weren’t nephalim, then what children did you have, exactly?” Gabriel smiles like the Cheshire cat, kicks his feet up on the table, and leans back in his chair, precariously. “Aww, Samwich. Where did you think unicorns came from?” This brings a lot of shocked faces, shaking heads, and “ugh. Dude!” comments from the peanut gallery. Charlie, however, is fascinated, plunking down in the chair next to Gabe and asking 19 rapid-fire questions about unicorns. Eventually, her curiosity quelled, and Dean’s horror somewhat exhausted, they pack away the subject of Gabriel’s equine legacy, and move on with the game.

Finally, Sam pipes up. “Ya know, we covered sex and marriage and kids, but we missed a fundamental one. Never Have I Ever been in love,” he announces, immediately downing half his beer. Everyone else drinks as well, looking a little introspective or nostalgic. Dean drains his whiskey and freezes, noticing Cas swallowing as well. “Wait. Cas? You’ve . . . WHO?” he says quietly. Cas looks away, blushing and clearing his throat. “Never mind, Dean. It doesn’t matter.” Dean stares at the side of Cas’s head for a minute, oblivious to all the sympathetic (and a few condescending) looks directed at him. He knows he should let this drop, but the Johnny Walker and the nostalgia of the game has combined to make Dean a little too emotional, and a little too loud. “Who, Cas? Was it Daphne?” he croaks, voice cracking a bit at the end. Cas turns back to him, clearly confused by the question. “Daphne?” he asks. “Ohhh, the woman I married as Emmanuel. No Dean, I was not in love with Daphne.” In the background, Dean barely hears Crowley and Bella murmuring back and forth about what a moron he is; something about not seeing the forest for the trees, but it doesn’t really register. He stares at Cas, Cas stares back. Everyone else stares at both of them.

From a few inches to his left, he hears Charlie say, barely under her breath, “Ugh, Never Have I Ever been so freaking oblivious!” At that, Gabriel snorts, causing Benny to follow suit, which seems to start a chain reaction around the room. Rowena and Charlie start giggling, then Bella lets out a cackle, slapping the tabletop and jostling Crowley, who chuckles and shakes his head. Finally, Gab catches Sam’s eye, and they both burst into gasping, snorting, wheezing laughter. This goes on and on, with Dean just looking around the room with an expression half bewildered and half wary, as if his friends might suddenly be under the effects of some spell. His attention is only brought back when he feels Castiel’s hand on his shoulder. He looks at the hand, then back to Cas’s face, now clearly amused. “For a very smart man, Dean, you can sometimes be very dense.” Dean just blinks up at Cas for another long moment, until Cas rolls his eyes in fond exasperation. He leans in close and says softly, “It’s you, Dean. You’re the person I’m in love with.”

Cas sits back, watching Dean carefully. Gradually, everyone falls silent around them, waiting, as the two of them do the staring thing that has long been their signature move. Suddenly, Dean pushes himself to a standing position. He reaches down to grab Cas’s hand, and pulls him to his feet. “Alright assholes, it’s been great, but we gotta head out. See y’all next time” he announces. Then he leans in, and squeezing his angel’s hand, he whispers, “Take me home, Cas. I think it’s about time we had a talk”. Cas nods once, and they disappear, with the sound of flapping wings.

The room explodes in applause and moans of “Jesus! Finally!” and “I told you!”. Several people pull out their wallets and hand over cash to Crowley. Gabe forks out the largest sum, griping all the while about how they “couldn’t have waited one more damn month”. There’s the loud pop of a cork, and Sam pours some champagne. Now they have one more reason to celebrate this date.

 


End file.
